the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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