oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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