party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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