i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
