i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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