You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
