i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
