We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
