I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
