she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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