he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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