you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
