this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
