woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
