this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Who died my cat blue again?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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