PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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