Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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