false alarm. still invincible.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
