Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
