i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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