dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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