There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
