I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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