There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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