Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
