Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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