there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
