If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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