i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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