Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
