Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
