If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
