Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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