Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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