i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
