i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You don't make any sense
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