wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
