It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
