you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
