My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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