what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize