Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
