what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
