she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
