idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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