YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
