There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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