I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
