well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize