four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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