my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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