is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize