We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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