Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
