I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
