Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize