Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
