no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
