And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
