We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
