i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
