Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
