Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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