If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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