Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
