Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
