Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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