he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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